This is kind of in a response blog to a friends blog... Did that sound right.. I suppose I try really hard not to focus on puncuation at these times and to just enjoy the flow of writing! For pure joy!
I was thinking about church and how my family and I have not been for many months - well actually almost 2 years. I seem to always use a scale to represent my thoughts and actions in life. If I am balancing in literal terms it would be in the middle.
Church is not in the balance right now.
I suppose I have given up a bit on church.
I do find that profoundly sad. I love Jesus and
want to fellowship with others- in fact I love being with people a lot!! I have just grown weary of the Black and White and finding my balance to be grey. There is so much judgement in the Christian body. I just felt judged from someone at the church we had been going to and it was at the time my daughter was diagnosed with a disease. The strength was not in me to build up that adaptability and positivity to the situation. I was struggling to gain balance for myself and my family. The strength was no longer in me to bounce back and be Alanna.
I feel sad that this has happened and I want to go back to church. I miss it in a lot of ways! Sadly, I am a little scared to go back. I know our family needs it.
I am not sure who wrote the song ; Something Beautiful, Something Good . I know there is something beautiful and something good in every situation ... I just want to find it so I can go back.
